


One Drunken Mistake

by granger_witch



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Accidental Sex, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Drunk Natasha Romanov, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, F/M, Love, Love Confessions, One Shot, Spoilers, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 15:53:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19212664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/granger_witch/pseuds/granger_witch
Summary: She wakes up with a headache. She realizes that she's said some things she shouldn't have said. She ends up crying.





	One Drunken Mistake

It was three in the morning and Natasha found herself waking up to a throbbing headache and a bandaged cut on her left hand. When she had come to a realization that a strong and familiar man was holding her, she immediately untangles herself from him. She then realizes another thing: she was naked. This other realization makes her head hurt again. She then tries to jog up her memory.

A few hours ago, at around four or five in the afternoon, Steve came by the compound to do his laundry. Of course, Natasha did not dare question why he would drive an extra hour or two to do so. Truth is, she wanted and liked his company. Since the others have moved out after the events of the snap, she was left alone in the compound. Steve had been with her for a few months, but alas he couldn’t take the memories that were written in every space and corner. Because of that, he decided to move out to a small space in a familiar area in Brooklyn. Natasha felt lonelier than before ever since.

“So, you here to do your laundry?” Natasha asks Steve when he drops by her office. 

It was always Steve’s first order of business to see Natasha when he comes by. “Yeah,” he answered.

“You busy?” he suddenly asks when he notices one empty bottle of vodka and another half-empty one on her desk.

“Kinda,” Natasha answers, not looking at him. “Well you know what to do.”

“Alright.” 

“Okay.” Natasha takes one good look at Steve who now had his back turned to her, ready to head out. “Steve, will you—… Would you stay for dinner?” she requests more than asks.

Steve turns his back to look at Natasha for a second. “Okay,” he says with an assuring smile.

Natasha just nods as he heads off to the laundry room then takes another swig of vodka. She had always found herself to be a lone wolf, growing up in the Red Room as a spy and all. But, after getting a taste of what it feels like to have a family, loneliness had completely changed a meaning for her. She would never tell Steve this, at least not the whole part of it. 

After Steve finished doing his laundry, he calls Natasha for dinner. “Is this all your food in here?” he asks while checking the cupboards for ingredients.

“No one’s here anyway,” Natasha says. “I don’t see the point of having food.”

“But you need to eat Nat,” Steve says. “Just because no one’s here doesn’t mean you have to deprive yourself. Since when was the last time you’ve eaten well?”

Natasha looks at Steve with the most tired face. “The last time you visited,” she answers. “The last time I’ve eaten properly was when you got me some soup dumplings to eat.”

Steve couldn’t help but feel sorry for his friend. “Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do.”

“What?”

“We’re gonna order pizza and pasta and chicken and whatever we can from a nearby Italian take-out place and we can watch a movie or something.” Steve suggested. “Is that okay with you?”

“That would be great.” Natasha agreed. “Thanks, Steve.”

“Anytime.”

Steve put on a cheesy romcom while they waited for their food. In between a cringeworthy scene, the two were thankful that the delivery man arrived. Natasha, not knowing if she had cash as of the moment got worried, but Steve insisted that he pay for their dinner. Once their food was paid, the two finished the movie whilst devouring the dinner that was too much for two.

“Rogers, tell me the truth.” Natasha suddenly says while they were drying the plates they used. “Were you really here to do your laundry?”

Steve put the dried plates away into the cupboard and sighed. “And to see a friend,” he truthfully answered. 

“Clearly your friend is fine,” Natasha bitterly quipped as she walked back to the living room to take another sip of vodka.

“No. You’re not.” Steve argued. “That’s your third bottle already. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“I’m fine, alright? You don’t have to worry about me! I’m not your responsibility!” Natasha shouted, her voice raising at every word.

"You're my friend, Nat!" Steve reminded her. "I want to know if you're okay!" 

"I'm fine Rogers!" Natasha shouted before taking another sip of vodka. 

"Nat please—"

Suddenly the bottle of vodka slips from Natasha's hand. "Dammit!"

"Be careful Nat," Steve calmly says while rushing to the nearby bathroom to get the first aid kit.

Natasha was already drunk, and Steve was sure of it. She may have a high tolerance for alcohol, but she wasn’t like Steve who no matter how much he drank, couldn’t if he tried to. “Nat please! It hurts me to see you like this.” Steve pleaded while he was cleaning up a small glass cut on Natasha's left hand.

“Then why did you leave me alone, Rogers?” Natasha angrily questioned, tears starting to stain her face. “Why? Why did you leave me alone? I’d never wanted you to be alone, yet you do this to me!”

Dumbfounded by his drunken friend’s words, Steve was wordless. He finished cleaning up the small cut and tried to explain himself, “Nat I—“

“Don’t you get it Rogers? Don’t you get it?” the Russian redhead had now laid her bottle of vodka on the desk. “I have always been there for you but you never noticed me! You’re always standing there, living in the past, trying to move on, and it hurts!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying Nat. You’re just drunk and—“

“Oh I damn right know what I’m saying Rogers!” Natasha cut off now standing up and walking away from him. “Because I know things that sometimes you refuse to tell me. I know that you’d prefer to live outside of this compound because you couldn’t take me anymore!”

Steve stands up to follow her. "Don’t say that! You know that’s not true—“

“I know that you pray every single day and night that your life here is just a dream, and that you’d wake up the back to where you’re originally from! Back to your goddamn dream life in forties—“

“Nat I don’t—“

“I know that you want to get to live that life you’ve always wanted even if you claimed to have moved on and shit!”

“Nat please stop—"

"I know that the reason why you couldn't let go of that goddamn fucking compass is because you'd do everything to live that dream life of yours with something you can't evem have anymore!"

"Nat that's enough—"

“And I know that no matter how much I stand next to you, or be there for you, or risk my life for you, or love you, I won’t have your heart the same way the woman who is actually inside it does.”

“Don’t you say that…” Steve immediately said. "Don't you dare say—"

“Rogers, I love you!” Natasha whispers. “Dammit! I love you!”

The next thing Natasha knew, her lips were on Steve’s and they ended up in her bedroom. When the memories have come back to her, Natasha’s head throbs hard once more and the cut on her hand was painful again. She was drunk. This was all a mistake. She can just forget about what had happened. But there was one problem—Steve. Steve can't get drunk. He had consented to their actions and was clearly laying down next to her. She had said some things she had never intended to say. She had said some things she hoped Steve would never bring up ever again. A part of her wished he had just left immediately when she kissed him, but a part of her would always wonder what would happen if he had stayed. With that, she was about to find out. Except, what happened was an accident. She should’ve never gotten drunk while Steve was there and kissed him and slept with him in the first place. Natasha believes that she had taken advantage of one of her closest friends, and this made her cry.

Natasha had been crying a lot lately. She had cried about the events post-snap, the loss of her Avengers family, the loss of the Bartons, and the sudden disappearance of her best friend. But this time, it's different. This was more for herself, and she felt selfish thinking about herself when half of the universe has literally been wiped out. Last night was a mistake and she knows it. Steve still loves someone else and it's gonna remain that way until he gets to move on—or not. After the events in 2014 where she and Steve had to take Hydra down, little feelings for him grew. Of course, she hid them away somewhere in a box inside of her head. When she had returned from Russia, she had been given a lot of missions and thought that the distractions made her feelings for him go away. She started becoming distant to Steve and he did to. She then found herself catching feelings for Bruce, but when he suggested they run away post-Battle of Sokovia, it felt wrong. Her heart belonged to the fight, so she stayed. No matter what happened to her partnership with Steve or no matter who she has feelings for, her promise and loyalty to Steve will always come first. Suddenly, Steve started becoming closer to her again. The feelings she put away had came back, and she believed that they were gonna go away sooner or later. However, she was wrong. After the events of the Civil War and when she decided to go rogue with him and Sam, Natasha’s feelings for Steve grew stronger than ever. She even came to a point where she recognized that it was love. On the run, there were a lot of possibilities and a lot of almosts, but alas. The girl on the compass was the only thing in Steve’s heart, and Natasha knew she couldn’t compete with that.

How could she? She’s not her. She will never be her. Natasha knew that. And that’s okay. Natasha wants Steve to love her for who she is, and not because she reminds him of his former flame. Hell, he tried that with Sharon Carter and that didn’t work out. If there was honestly a way for Steve to go back to the past to help him get what he wants and deserves, she’ll help him. Natasha always thought that love was for children, but a lot of people showed her that it isn’t. The Bartons, Nick, Maria, the Avengers and Steve made it possible to show her love in all forms. The day Steve would go to the past would be the most dreadful for her, but to love unconditionally asks for nothing, and if Steve can’t love her back the way she does, then she’ll love him to the very best she can.

She takes one look at Steve before covering her face with her hands. “Are you okay?” Steve suddenly stirs upon hearing Natasha cry.

Natasha quickly wipes her tears and assures him, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Steve pulls Natasha in for a hug.

“It’s nothing,” Natasha insisted. “Just… Promise you won’t leave me please?”

The two lay down on the bed, Steve holding Natasha close to his heart. “I promise.”

When Natasha’s eyes closed and Steve was sure that she had fully drifted off to sleep, he kisses her forehead. “I love you too. Don’t you dare ever think I don’t,” he whispers before drifting off to sleep.


End file.
